so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
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i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
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Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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