Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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