I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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