I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
