There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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