if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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