My sheets look like a crime scene.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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