I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
