I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I'm really busy with my period
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