what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
