Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
FUCK WHALES
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
