Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
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Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
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It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize