just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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