I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
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