I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize