Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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