i just wanna soil my oats bro
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
