my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
