he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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