yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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