I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
