If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
