You're completely useless in the revolution.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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