There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize
