Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
this hospital has no fireball
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
