Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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