PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
