I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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