If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
