why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
