is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
