im drinking this country out of the recession.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It was like getting head from an anaconda
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
