Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
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