i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
