i think my mom watched the whole time
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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