He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
