he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
where am i from again
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
