please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
