I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
