Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
