you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
