Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
