I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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