So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize