Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
