But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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