The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
