why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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