No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
