My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
