i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize