"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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