sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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