What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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