We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
