I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
