my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
