when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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