'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
