Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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