Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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