He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
