i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
