My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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