Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she peed on how many people?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
