so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize