What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
