something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I love you. Go after that dick
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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